American Pie (1999)
Michelle: And this one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute
in my pussy. Jim: [Choking on his beer.] Excuse me? Michelle:
What, you don't think I know how to get myself off? Hell,
that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed! So, are we gonna
screw soon? 'Cause I'm getting kinda antsy.
Michelle: What's my name? SAY MY NAME, BITCH! Jim: Michelle!
Steve Stifler: I'll see you guys tonight, in the "No Fucking
Finch: God bless the Internet.
[During sex.] Stifler's Mom: Oh, Finchy. Finch. Finch: Oh,
Stifler's Mom, whoa!
Stifler: I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove
the shrink wrap, and fucking USE them!
Jim: I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful
woman masturbating on my bed.
Jim: You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins.
They probably have special dorms for people like us.
Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like? Kevin:
You want to take this one? Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Like warm
apple pie. Jim: Yeah? Chris "Oz"
[On being sensitive] Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: You ask them questions,
and listen to what they have to say and shit. Stifler: I dunno,
man, that sounds like a lot of work.
Jim: She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was
Stifler's Mom: I got some scotch. Finch: Single malt? Stifler's
Mom: Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.