Jimmy: You think those whales piss in that water? Jelly:
No, I think they use the men's room next to the Burger King.
[Preparing to kill him.] Jelly: Sorry, Doc. Nothing personal.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Don't kid yourself, Jelly, it doesn't get
more personal.
Dr. Ben Sobol: What is my goal here, to make you a happy,
well-adjusted gangster?
Dr. Ben Sobol: When I got into family therapy, this was
not the "family" I had in mind!
Guard: What kind of sandwich ain't too fattening? Jelly:
A half a sandwich.
[After receiving a lavish gift from Vitti.] Dr. Ben Sobel:
Call the Vatican. See if something is missing.
Boss Paul Viti: [to Dr. Sobel] If I turn fag, you die.
Boss Paul Viti: You did nothing for me! You did nothing!
I'm still fucked up! Dr. Ben Sobol: Hey, what do you expect?
I saw you for five minutes! I can't work miracles, Mr. Viti!
And let me tell you something, I do not appreciate it when
someone wakes me up and drags me out of my hotel room in
the middle of the night. I have a life, Mr. Viti, I have
a family, I have a serious practice, and I don't have time
for your BULLSHIT! ...That kind of got away from me at the
end.
[On why he needs a mistress, besides his wife] Boss Paul
Viti: She kisses my kids with that mouth!
Dr. Ben Sobol: Oedipus was a Greek king who killed his father
and married his mother. Boss Paul Viti: Fuckin' Greeks.
Dominic: Times are changing. You've got to change with the
times. Boss Paul Viti: What, am I supposed to get a fuckin'
website?
Boss Paul Viti: You know me? Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes. Boss Paul
Viti: No you don't. Dr. Ben Sobel: Okay. Boss Paul Viti:
You see my picture in the paper? Dr. Ben Sobel: Yes. Boss
Paul Viti: No you didn't. Dr. Ben Sobel: I don't even get
the paper.
Boss Paul Vitti: I wasn't really gonna whack you. Dr. Ben
Sobel: Paul... Boss Paul Vitti: Okay, I was gonna whack
you. But I was real conflicted about it.
Dr. Ben Sobel: Let me get this straight: you flew all the
way down to Miami and kidnapped me from my hotel room in
the middle of the night just because you couldn't get an
erection? Boss Paul Vitti: Don't that prove I'm motivated?
Dr. Ben Sobel: You know, you can take a pill for that. Boss
Paul Vitti: Nah, you start with the pills, the next thing
you know you're putting in hydraulics. A hard-on should
be achieved legitimately or it shouldn't be achieved at
all. Dr. Ben Sobel: Hmm, I think Mark Twain said that, didn't
he?
Primo: I'd like to see a movie, but it's nothing but this
shoot-em-up action bullshit. I get enough of that at work.
Michael Sobel: Was that really Paul Vitti? Dr. Ben Sobel:
Well, I didn't ask to see his Mafia decoder ring, but yes.
Dr. Ben Sobel: They threw me in the shark tank. The shark
tank! Boss Paul Vitti: They were trying to make a point.
Dr. Ben Sobel: What, that you're a scary guy? Believe me,
I get it.
