Rockhound: I hate it when I know everything!
Rockhound: Look, we've got front row tickets to the end of the earth!
AJ: Oh man. Well, we all gotta die, right? I'm the guy who gets to do it saving the world.
Lev Andropov: American components, Russian components, all made in Taiwan!
Col. Sharp: Talk about the wrong stuff.
Charles "Chick" Chapple: Harry, the clock on that nine-foot nuclear weapon is ticking.
[Rockhound is riding the bomb a la Dr. Strangelove.] Colonel William Sharp: Get off... the nuclear... warhead.
Rockhound: You know we're sitting on four million pounds of fuel, one nuclear weapon and a thing that has 270,000 moving parts built by the lowest bidder. Makes you feel good, doesn't it?
Rockhound: Wow. Got a great view of the Earth from here. Too bad we'll never set foot on her again.
Rockhound: I don't want to be the materialistic weasel here, but do you think we'll get hazard pay for this?
Rockhound: You think that's bad? I owe 100 grand to a fat-ass loan shark which I spent on a stripper named Molly Mounds. Charles "Chick" Chapple: Boy, that's bad.
Charles "Chick" Chapple: Man, what are you doing with a gun in space?
Ronald Quincy: I know the presidents' chief advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don't want to take advice from a man who got a C minus in astrophysics. The presidents' advisors are wrong. I am right.
A.J. Frost: Have you ever heard of Evel Knievel? Lev Andropov: No, I never saw Star Wars.
President: We didn't see this thing coming? Dan Truman: Well, our object collision budget allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and begging your pardon, but that's a big-ass sky.
Harry S. Stamper: The United States Government just asked us to save the world. Anyone wanna say no? Charles "Chick" Chapple: 20 years, I've never let you down before. I'm there.