Jack Horner: We're about to make film history, right here on videotape.
Jack Horner: I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.
Dirk Diggler: Aren't you gonna take your skates off? Rollergirl: I never take my skates off.
[Little Bill walks in on his wife having sex with someone] Little Bill: What the fuck do you think you're doing? His Wife: What the fuck does it like like I'm doing?
Colonel James: So, Jack tells me you've got a great big cock.
[Both girls high on coke] Rollergirl: Amber, are you my mom? I'm gonna ask you, okay? And you say yes, okay? Amber, are you my mom? Amber Waves: Yes, sweetie.
Amber Waves: What's the matter down there? Rollergirl: I gotta go pee. Amber Waves: Well, go then.
[Little Bill discovers his wife having sex for a group of spectators.] Little Bill: What the fuck are you doing? Little Bill's wife: Go away Bill, you're embarrassing me!
[To his pregnant wife] Buck Swope: How's my little kung fu fighter? Jessie St. Vincent: He's kicking ass inside my stomach.
[Colonel's lady friend lying on ground, bleeding from nose.] Young Stud: I, I think she did too much coke. The Colonel: Oh you think so doctor?
[In a scene from "Brock Landers: Angels Live In My Town."] Dirk: [as Brock] You still hungry? Jessie: Starving. [Unzipping his pants.] Dirk: [as Brock] Then feast on that.
Floyd Gondoli: This here's the future. Videotape tells the truth. Jack Horner: Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it's amateaurs and not professionals? I'm a filmmaker, which is why I will never make a movie on tape.
Record Producer: That's not an MP, that's a YP, your problem. Come up with the money, or forget it. Reed Rothchild: Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. All I know is that I can't get a record contract, we cannot get a record contract unless we take those tapes to the record company. And granted, the tapes themselves are a uh um oh, you own them, alright, but the magic that is on those tapes. That fucking heart and soul that we put onto those tapes, that is ours and you don't own that! Now I need to take that magic and get it over the record company. And they're waiting for us, we were supposed to be there a half hour ago. We look like assholes, man!
Amber Waves: Let me just check on something. [Takes off Dirk's pants.] That is a giant cock.
Reed Rothchild: Hey, are those lizard? Dirk Diggler: No, they're Italian. I'm gonna fuckin' buy these.
Dirk Diggler: What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.
Dirk: You know, I'm gonna be a great big bright, shining star.
Floyd Gondolli: I like simple pleasures, like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy.
[His one word prediction for the future of the porn industry] Floyd Gondolli: Videotape.