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Last Action Hero (1993)

James Belushi: I'm not really a big fan of Arnold's... She is, you know... Arnold really turns her on and I just want to be there when it happens.

Frank: We mostly talk muzzle velocities. Guns.

Benedict: Since you're about to die anyway, I might as well tell you the entire plot.

Jack Slater: Here's another explosion for your movie, kid.

[First line] Dekker: This is one hell of a way to spend Christmas...

[Jack Slater is Hamlet] Hamlet: Hey Claudius! You killed my father! Big mistake! Narrator: Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet is taking out the trash. Old Man: Stay thy hand, fair prince. Hamlet: [shooting him] Who said I'm fair? Narrator: No one is going to tell this sweet prince good night. Hamlet: To be or not to be? Not to be.

[Dead assassin tumbles out of closet after Slater has fired into it without warning] Danny: How'd you know someone was in there? Slater: There's always someone in there. It costs me a fortune in closet doors.

Vivaldi: What I'm saying is; Mr. Benedict can take you out as easy as cake.

[Danny Madigan is watching the bad guys on the screen] Danny Madigan: You are gonna pay... Oooh, you gonna pay!

[Frank's last words] Frank: I'm out of here...

Jack Slater: Who the hell are you? Danny Madigan: Don't shoot me. I'm Danny Madigan. I'm a kid.

Danny Madigan: OK, I got one. What about this girl right here. She is way too attractive to be working in a video store. Jack Slater: I agree with you. I think she should be working with us ... under cover of course...

Danny Madigan: You think you are funny, don't you? Jack Slater: I know I am. I'm the famous comedian Arnold Braunschweiger. Danny Madigan: Schwarzenegger! Jack Slater: Gesundheit.

Jack Slater: Could I speak to the drug dealer of the house, please?

Jack Slater: I'll be back! Ha! You didn't know I was gonna say that, did you? Danny Madigan: That's what you always say! Jack Slater: I do?

Jack Slater: Kid! Who does the doctor treat? Danny Madigan: Patients? Jack Slater: Look at the elbow of my jacket. What is it doing? Danny Madigan: Wearing thin? Jack Slater: Bingo!

[Danny Madigan was just kissed by Whitney Slater] Danny Madigan: From now on it's all gonna be downhill...

Whitney Slater: FREEZE! Lose the guns or I redecorate in brain-matter grey, got it?

Danny Madigan: Chicken it is...

Danny Madigan: ...I though I was going to die. Jack Slater: Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but you're gonna live to enjoy all the glorious fruits life has got to offer - acne, shaving, premature ejaculation ... and your first divorce.

Jack Slater: And Whitney! Why can't she be like every other teenager. For prom night she stayed home and field stripped an AK-47.

[Jack Slater realizes that a nerve gas bomb is hidden in Leo "the Fart"'s body] Jack Slater: Leo "the Fart" is gonna pass gas one more time.

Vivaldi: Mr. Torelli. I hope it's alright with you I am here. I don't wanna be no fourth wheel...

Vivaldi: You've had Slater in front of the eight ball before, but you always screwed it up.

[The nervgasbomb goes of in the tar-pit] Jack Slater: Silent but deadly!

Benedict: If God was a villain, he would have been me.

[Jack Slater throws Benedict against a wall, and both Benedict and his servant disappears through it] Jack Slater: Usually when I do that it leaves a hole...

Nick: There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars, forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, whores, politicians... Jack Slater: You already mentioned them. Nick: I know I did. They are twice as bad as anything else.

Tony Vivaldi: What is this, Benedict?! First you're my friend; now you turn a... 360 on me! Benedict: 180, you stupid, spaghetti-slurping cretin -- *180*! If I did a 360, I'd go completely around and end up back where I started! Tony Vivaldi: What? Benedict: Trust me! [shoots him]

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