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Miss Congeniality (2000)

Gracie Hart: Gracie Lou Freebush?! Eric Matthews: I thought you'd like that. Gracie Hart: Yeah, well. My IQ just dropped ten points.

Eric Matthews: Operation "Thong" has commenced. Gracie Hart: Why don't you stun-gun yourself? Eric Matthews: I knew she'd like that one.

Victor Melling: Why is New Jersey called "The Garden State"? Gracie Hart: Because "Oil and Petrochemical Refinery State" wouldn't fit on a license plate?

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... You want to kiss me... You want to hug me... You want to love me... You want to smooch me... You want to hug me.

Gracie Hart: F.B.I. You might want to stay out of this.

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous... you want to kiss me... you want to date me.

[To models refusing pizza and beer.] Gracie Hart: It's lite beer, and she's gonna throw it up anyway.

Stan Fields: Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date. Cheryl "Rhode Island": Well, my idea of a perfect date would be April 23rd. Because it's not too warm or too cold, and all you need is a light jacket.

Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night, I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!

Gracie Hart: Donut Nazi.

Gracie Hart: I would so like to hurt you right now. Victor Melling: As long as you smile.

Victor Melling: What, no armored car? Gracie Hart: It's in my other dress.

Kathy Morningside: Of couse he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!

Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

Eric Matthews: Is this you not arguing? 'Cause you suck at it.

Victor Melling: The last time I saw a walk like that was in "Jurassic Park."

Kathy Morningside: I would much rather cancel the show than have my girls blown up. Stan Fields: Especially without their knowledge.

Stan Fields: And we'll be right back with our five final lesbians -- contestants!

[After McDonald sees himself in a bikini on the computer.] Eric Matthews: We were just looking for someone to go undercover at the Miss United States Pageant, sir. McDonald: And I'm the best we got. That doesn't inspire much confidence.

Eric Matthews: Don't look at me like I betrayed you. Gracie Hart: No, betrayal implies an action, you just stood there!

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