Bella: William just turned down Anna Scott. Spike: You daft
prick.
William Thacker: I live in Notting Hill; you live in Beverly
Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are; my mother
has troubles remembering my name.
Max: Let's face facts, this was always a no-win situation.
Anna's a goddess, you know what happens to mortals who get
involved with gods. William Thacker: Buggered, is it? Max:
Every time.
Spike: I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never got
to see her box, though.
Anna Scott: You know what they say about men with big feet.
William Thacker: No, I don't, actually. What's that? Anna
Scott: Big feet... large shoes.
Spike: I'm going to tell you a story that will make your
balls shrink to the size of raisins.
Spike: There's something wrong with this yogurt. William:
It's mayonnaise. Spike: Oh.
Bernie: I'm sorry I am so late. Bollocksed up at work again,
I fear. Millions down the drain.
Keziah: No thanks, I'm a fruitarian. Max: I didn't realize
that. William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian? Keziah:
We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we
think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually
fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes. William: Murdered? Poor
carrots. How beastly!
Max: You haven't slept with her, have you? William: That
is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.
Max: "No comment" means "yes." William: No it doesn't. Max:
Do you ever masturbate? William: DEFINITELY no comment.
Max: You see? It means "yes."
William: Whoopsidaisies! Anna: What did you say? William:
Nothing. Anna: Yes you did. William: No I didn't. Anna:
You said "whoopsidaisies." William: I don't think so. No
one says "whoopsidaisies," do they? Unless they're-- Anna:
There's no "unless." No one has said "whoopsidaisies" for
fifty years and even then it was only little girls with
blonde ringlets. William: Exactly. Here we go again. [He
falls off the fence again.] Whoopsidaisies. It's a disease
I've got. It's a clincial thing. I'm taking pills and having
injections. It won't last long.
William: It's as if I've taken love heroin, and now I can't
ever have it again.
Anna: Can I stay for a while? William: You can stay forever.
William Thacker: I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly
Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. Anna Scott:
I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking
him to love her.
Anna Scott: I can't believe you have that picture on your
wall. William Thacker: You like Chagall? Anna Scott: I do.
It feels like how being in love should be. Floating through
a dark blue sky. William Thacker: With a goat playing the
violin. Anna Scott: Yes - happiness wouldn't be happiness
without a violin-playing goat.
Anna Scott: I've been on a diet everyday since I was nineteen,
which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. I've
had a series of not-so-nice boyfriends, one of whom hit
me. And every time I get my heart broken, the newspapers
splash it about as though it's entertainment. And it's taken
two rather painful operations to get me looking like this.
Honey: Really. [Anna taps her chin and nose.] Anna Scott:
And one day, not long from now, my looks will go. They will
discover I can't act, and I will become some sad middle-aged
woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a
while.
