The Joker: Bruce... Wayne, n'est-ce pas? Bruce Wayne: Most
of the time.
[Batman dangles a mugger over the side of a building.] Mugger:
Don't kill me, man - don't kill me! Batman: I'm not going
to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell
all your friends about me. Mugger: Who are you?! Batman: I'm
Batman.
[Repeated line] Jack Napier: Have you ever danced with the
devil in the pale moonlight?
The Joker: Never rub another man's rhubarb.
The Joker: Gotham City. Always brings a smile to my face.
[Jack Napier is confronted with Batman for the first time]
Jack Napier: Nice outfit!
[Joker gives someone a hand and electrocutes him] Joker: Oh,
I got a live one here!
Vicki Vale: I just gotta know, are we going to try to love
each other? Bruce Wayne: I'd like to. But he's out there right
now, and I've gotta go to work.
[The Joker sees a picture of Vicki Vale.] Jack Napier: Stop
the press, who is that?
Vicki Vale: Some people think you're as dangerous as the Joker.
Batman: He's psychotic. Vicki Vale: Some people say the same
about you. Batman: What people? Vicki Vale: Well, face it.
You're not exactly normal, are you? Batman: This isn't exactly
a normal world, is it?
The Joker: Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little
people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But
remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta
go, go with a smile.
Batman: You killed my parents. The Joker: What? What? What
are you talking about? Batman: I made you, you made me first.
The Joker: Give me a break. I was a kid when I killed your
parents. When I say "I made you" you gotta say "you made me."
How childish can you get?
Batman: I'm going to kill you! The Joker: You IDIOT! You made
me. Remember, you dropped me into that vat of chemicals. That
wasn't easy to get over, and don't think that I didn't try.
The Joker: And now, folks, it's time for "Who do you trust!"
Hubba, hubba, hubba! Money, money, money! Who do you trust?
Me? I'm giving away free money. And where is the Batman? HE'S
AT HOME WASHING HIS TIGHTS!
Vicki Vale: What do you want? The Joker: My face on the one
dollar bill. Vicki Vale: You must be joking. The Joker: Do
I look like I'm joking?
[Last lines.] Alfred Pennyworth: I thought champagne would
be in order, ma'am. Vicki Vale: Hi, Alfred. Alfred Penny Worth:
Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that he might be a little late.
Vicki Vale: I'm not a bit surprised.
The Joker: New and improved Joker products! With a new secret
ingredient: Smylex.
[Jack is primping in front of a mirror.] Alicia: You look
fine. Jack Napier: I didn't ask.
[The Joker reveals himself for the first time.] The Joker:
Jack is dead, my friend. You can call me... Joker. And as
you can see, I'm a lot happier!
The Joker: Haven't you ever heard of the healing power of
laughter?
The Joker: I've been dead once already; it's very liberating.
You might think of it as... therapy.
The Joker: I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.
Joker: Hello, Benny. It's your uncle Bingo. Time to pay the
check!
Vicki Vale: What do you want? The Joker: Oh, little song,
little dance, Batman's head on a lance...
Alfred Pennyworth: I have little desire to spend my few remaining
years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons.
Knox: You know what they say? They say he drinks blood. They
say he can't be killed. Eckhardt: And I say you're full of
shit, Knox. Oh, and you can quote me on that one.
Jack Napier: Decent people shouldn't live here; they'd be
happier someplace else.
Vicki Vale: You're insane! Joker: I thought I was a Pisces!
The Joker: Where does he get those wonderful toys?
The Joker: [reciting his poem to Vicki] I'm only laughing
on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could
see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep.
