Big Daddy (1999)
Sonny Koufax: Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is kicking ass in the stockmarket right now.
[Ordering food] Sonny Koufax: Julian, what do you want? Julian: Thirty packets of ketchup.
Sonny Koufax: Hey, you stay away from the frozen food section. Your boobs'll harden.
Corinne Maloney: What's this I hear about you doing laundry with my sister? Sonny Koufax: Did she say we were doing laundry? Because where I come from, it's called "doing the hibbidy-dibbidy."
Ted Castelucci: Objection, Your Honor! The court is interested in the truth, not the opinion of the defendant's father. Lenny Koufax: You want my opinion? My son is a moron. Ted Castelucci: I withdraw my objection. Please proceed!
Sonny Koufax: Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.
[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend] Vanessa: He has a five year plan. Sonny Koufax: What is it? "Don't die"?
Layla Maloney: So two guys you were best friends with in law school fell in love with each other? Sonny Koufax: Yeah. Layla Maloney: Is that strange for you? Sonny Koufax: Uh, nothing changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.
Sonny Koufax: The kid just won't quit peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel.
Sonny Koufax: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love with a girl who makes plenty of it. She could be my sugar mamma. Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.