Sonny Koufax: Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is
kicking ass in the stockmarket right now.
[Ordering food] Sonny Koufax: Julian, what do you want? Julian:
Thirty packets of ketchup.
Sonny Koufax: Hey, you stay away from the frozen food section.
Your boobs'll harden.
Corinne Maloney: What's this I hear about you doing laundry
with my sister? Sonny Koufax: Did she say we were doing laundry?
Because where I come from, it's called "doing the hibbidy-dibbidy."
Ted Castelucci: Objection, Your Honor! The court is interested
in the truth, not the opinion of the defendant's father. Lenny
Koufax: You want my opinion? My son is a moron. Ted Castelucci:
I withdraw my objection. Please proceed!
Sonny Koufax: Having a kid is great... as long as his eyes
are closed and he's not moving or talking.
[Discussing Vanessa's new senior citizen boyfriend] Vanessa:
He has a five year plan. Sonny Koufax: What is it? "Don't
die"?
Layla Maloney: So two guys you were best friends with in law
school fell in love with each other? Sonny Koufax: Yeah. Layla
Maloney: Is that strange for you? Sonny Koufax: Uh, nothing
changed really. They watch a different kind of porno now.
Sonny Koufax: The kid just won't quit peeing and throwing
up. He's like a cocker spaniel.
Sonny Koufax: Don't worry about me making money. I'm in love
with a girl who makes plenty of it. She could be my sugar
mamma. Homeless Guy: I gotta get me one of those.
