Walter Sobchak: This is what happens when you FUCK A STRANGER
IN THE ASS!
The Stranger: Do you have to use so many cuss words? The Dude:
What the fuck you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: I told that Kraut a fuckin' thousand times
I don't roll on shabbos!
The Dude: Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh,
drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.
The Dude: Well, I still jerk off manually.
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: This is not Nam. This is bowling. There are
rules.
Jeffrey Lebowski: Isn't that what makes a man? The Dude: Mmm,
sure. That and a pair of testicles.
Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski: This could be a lot more uh, uh,
uh, complex, I mean it just might, it might not be such a
simple, uh, you know?
Donny: Your phone's ringing, Dude. The Dude: Thank you, Donny.
Walter Sobchak: I'm as Jewish as fucking Tevye.
Maude Lebowski: What do you do for recreation? The Dude: Oh,
the usual. Bowl, drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
The Dude: That's a great plan, Walter. That's fuckin' ingenious,
if I understand it correctly. It's a Swiss fuckin' watch.
[After showing him a clip from the porn movie starring Bunny.]
Maude Lebowski: You can imagine where it goes from here. The
Dude: He fixes the cable? Maude Lebowski: Don't be fatuous,
Jeffrey. }
The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy,
man, I need my fucking johnson! Donny: What do you need that
for, Dude?
The Dude: Everything's a fuckin' travesty with you, man!
Walter Sobchak: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe
me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe
me. The Dude: Yeah, but Walter-- Walter Sobchak: Hell, I can
get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon--with nail polish.
Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is shabbas, the Jewish day
of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't
fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn
on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!
Walter Sobchak: Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like
about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it's
an ethos.
Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this? The
Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
[Being forced into a limousine.] The Dude: Hey, careful, man,
there's a beverage here!
The Dude: And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man.
Walter Sobchak: You mean... beyond pacifism?
Donny: Are these the Nazis, Walter? Walter Sobchak: No, Donny,
these men are nihilists. There's nothing to be afraid of.
Jesus Quintana: What's this day of rest shit? What's this
bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus.
But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in
the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league
psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man -- ha ha! I was gonna fuck
you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Wednesday
instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!
Walter Sobchak: Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman.
The Dude: Fuckin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man. Walter
Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude. The Dude: Yeah. Walter
Sobchak: No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served
6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh! Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he
had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederass.
[sic] Donny: What's a... pederass, Walter? Walter Sobchak:
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Walter: You're entering a world of pain.
Nihilist: I fuck you in the ass, I fuck you in the ass, I
fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck you, I fuck
The Dude: Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy.
I'm the Dude, man. Treehorn's Thug: Your name's Lebowski,
Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny. The Dude: My...my wi, my wife,
Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place
look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seat's up, man!
Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking
Nazis. Donny: They were Nazis, Dude? Walter Sobchak: Oh, come
on Donny, they were threatening castration!
