Czervik: Last time I saw a mouth like that, it had a hook
Carl Spackler: I got to get into this dude's pelt and crawl
around for a few days. Who's the gopher's ally. His friends.
The harmless squirrel and the friendly rabbit.
Carl Spackler: This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella
story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to
become the masters champion.
Ty Webb: You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with
a great body.
Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're
not being the ball Danny. Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're
talking like that.
Judge Smails: Ty, what did you shoot today? Ty Webb: Oh,
Judge, I don't keep score. Judge Smails: Then how do you
measure yourself with other golfers? Ty Webb: By height.
Judge Smails: I've sentenced boys younger than you to the
gas chamber. Didn't want to do it. I felt I owed it to them.
Dr. Beeper: I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.
Ty Webb: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.
Al Czervik: Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!
[Caddy Danny arrives among the rich in his yachting outfit]
Spalding: Ahoy polloi!
Spalding: This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're
probably high already and you don't even know it.
Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw.
What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free
bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though.
Al Czervik: Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey
baby, you must've been something before electricity.
Al Czervik: Your a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna
make 14 dollars the hard way?
Carl Spackler: He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards
away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.
Al Czervik: [to his Asian companion] I hear this place is
restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?
Carl Spackler: Oh Mrs. Crane, you're a little monkey woman.
Yeah, you're lean, mean, and I bet you're not too far in
between are ya. How'd you like to wrap your spikes around
Ty Webb: You take drugs, Danny? Danny Noonan: Every day.
Ty Webb: Good. Then what's your problem? Danny Noonan: I
Ty Webb: A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut
without a hole, is a danish.
Ty Webb: I was born to love you. I was born to lick your
face. I was born to rub you. But you were born to rub me
Danny Noonan: I gotta go to college. Ty Webb: You don't
have to go to college. This isn't Russia. Is this Russia?
This isn't Russia.