Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Now, what is the one thing if you put
it in a movie it'll be successful? George Weiss: Tits.
George Weiss: I don't make major motion pictures. I make
crap. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes, but if you take that crap
and put a star in it, then you've got something. George
Weiss: Yeah, crap with a star.
[Bunny Breckenridge is being baptised] Reverend Lemon: Welcome
to the fold, brother. Do you reject Satan and all his evils?
Bunny Breckenridge: Sure.
Edward Wood: Transvestites! I need transvestites!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: My girlfriend still doesn't know why
her sweaters are always stretched out.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: This story's gonna grab people! It's
about this guy, he's crazy about this girl, but he likes
to wear dresses. Should he tell her? Should he not tell
her!? He's torn, Georgie! This is drama!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I was wondering if you'd like to go
out sometime, grab some dinner, maybe? Vampira: You mean
a date? I thought you were a fag. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No,
no, I'm just a transvestite.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I like to dress in women's clothing.
George Weiss: You're a fruit? Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, not
at all. I love women. Wearing their clothes makes me feel
closer to them. George Weiss: You're not a fruit? Edward
D. Wood, Jr.: No, I'm all man. I even fought in World War
II. Of course, I was wearing women's undergarments under
my uniform.
Bela Lugosi: Let's shoot this fucker.
Bela Lugosi: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've
ever been in!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Why if I had half a chance, I could
make an entire movie using this stock footage. The story
opens on these mysterious explosions. Nobody knows what's
causing them, but it's upsetting all the buffalo. So, the
military are called in to solve the mystery. Film Room Man:
You forgot the octopus. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No, no, I'm
saving that for my big underwater climax.
