Carl Showalter: O.K., we'll go get some fucking pancakes
and then get laid.
[Marge is pregnant.] Lou: You alright there, Margie? Marge
Gunderson: Oh, I just think I'm gonna barf... Well, that
passed. Now I'm hungry again.
Marge Gunderson: I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred
percent on your police work, there, Lou.
[Carl sees Jean's body on the floor] Carl Showalter: The
fuck happened to her? Gaear Grimsrud: Eh, she started shrieking,
you know.
Stan Grossman: But you're sayin'... what are ya sayin'?
Mike Yanagita: So, uh, you married old Norm son-of-a-Gunderson?
Marge Gunderson: OK, so we got a trooper pulls someone over,
we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there's a high-speed
pursuit, ends here and then this execution-type deal.
Carl Showalter: Just keep it still back there lady or we're
going to have to, you know, shoot you.
Marge Gunderson: Say Lou, didya hear the one about the guy
who couldn't afford personalized plate so he went and changed
his name to J3L2404? Lou: Yah, that's a good one.
Marge Gunderson: You have no call to get snippy with me;
I'm just trying to do my job here.
Gaer Grimsrud: We split the car. Carl Showalter: How the
fuck do you split a car, you dummy? With a fucking chainsaw?
Marge Gunderson: And I guess that was your accomplice in
the woodchipper.
Marge Gunderson: There's more to life than a little money,
ya know. Don'tcha know that? And here ya are. And it's a
beautiful day. Well. I just don't understand it.
Norm Gunderson: I love you, Margie. Marge Gunderson: I love
you, Norm.
Hooker: Well, the little guy was kinda funny-lookin'. Marge
Gunderson: In what way? Hooker: I dunno, just funny-lookin'.
Marge Gunderson: Can ya be any more specific? Hooker: I
couldn't really say. He wasn't circumcised. Marge Gunderson:
Was he funny-lookin' apart from that? Hooker: Oh, he was
just funny-lookin'. More than most people, even.
[Grimsrud won't give Carl the car.] Carl Showalter: No fuckin'
way! You fuckin' notice this? I got fuckin' shot in the
face! I went and got the fuckin' money! I got shot pickin'
it up! I've been up for 36 fuckin' hours! I'm takin' that
fuckin' car! That fucker's mine!
Carl Showalter: You know, it's proven that second-hand smoke
is, uh, carcin-... uh, you know, cancer related.
Gaer Grimsrud: You are a smooth smoothie, you know.
Gaer Grimsrud: I need unguent.
[Grimsrud sees Carl's shot-up face.] Carl Showalter: You
should see the other guy!
Carl Showalter: What kind of trouble are you in, Jerry?
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, that's, that's, I'm not gonna go
inta, inta - see, I just need money.
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, heck, if you wanna play games here!
I'm workin' with ya on this thing, but I... Okay, I'll do
a damned lot count! Marge: Sir? Right now? Jerry Lundegaard:
Sure right now! You're darned tootin'!
Carl Showalter: We've been waiting here an hour. He's peed
three times already.
Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna debate you, Jerry. Jerry Lundegaard:
Okay. Carl Showalter: I'm not gonna sit here and debate.
Carl Showalter: Oh, fuck it, I don't have to talk either,
man! See how you like it. Just total fuckin' silence. Two
can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you
like it. Total silence.
Marge Gunderson: Ah, hon, ya got Arby's all over me.
Carl Showalter: I don't want more fuckin' pancakes, man.
I want to go somewhere I can get a shot and a beer, and
a steak, maybe. Hey, I know this place outside Brainerd
where we can get laid. Gaer Grimsrud: Look, I'm fucking
hungry now, you know.
