Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Cameron: Ferris Bueller, you're my hero.

Ferris: Hi. Do you speak English? Ethnic Parking Garage Attendant: Uh, what country do you think this is?

Ferris Bueller: Cameron's house is like a museum. It's very cold, and very beautiful, and you're not allowed to touch anything.



Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in awhile, you could miss it.

Cameron: This is Edward Rooney we're talking about. The man could crush my balls into oblivion.

Grace: Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads--they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.

Jeannie Bueller: There is an intruder - male, Caucasian, possibly armed, certainly weird - in my kitchen.

Jeannie Bueller: I don't believe this. If I was bleeding out my eyes, you guys would make me go to school.

Cameron: I don't know what I'm gonna do. Sloan: College. Cameron: Yeah, but to do what? Sloan: What are you interested in? Cameron: Nothing! Sloan: Me neither! Cameron: [to Ferris, who's singing on the parade float] YOU'RE CRAZY! Sloan: What do you think Ferris is gonna do? Cameron: He's gonna be a fry cook on Venus!

Ferris: Hey, Cameron. You realize if we played by the rules right now we'd be in gym?

Cameron: What'd I do? Ferris: You killed the car.

Ferris: I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?

Cameron: Why'd you kick me? Ferris: Where's your brain? Cameron: Why'd you kick me? Ferris: Where's you brain? Cameron: I asked you first.

[A baseball game is on television.] Ed Rooney: What's the score? Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' to nothin'. Ed Rooney: [not really listening] Who's winning? Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.

Ed Roonie: I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind.

Cameron: The 1961 Ferrari 250GT California. Less than a hundred were made. My father spent three years restoring this car. It is his love, it is his passion. Ferris: It is his fault he didn't lock the garage.

Garage Attendant: You guys got nothing to worry about, I'm a professional. Cameron: A professional what?

Ferris Bueller: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you would have a diamond.

[Calling her mother's office.] Jeannie: Katie Bueller please. [pause] Do know where she went? [pause] Well, do you know when she will be back? [pause] Do you know anything? [slams down receiver]

Ferris Bueller: Cameron has never been in love -- at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.

Katie Bueller: I just picked up Jeannie at the police station! She got a speeding ticket, another speeding ticket, and I lost the Vermont deal because of her! Tom Bueller: I think we should shoot her.

[Of his father's Ferrari.] Cameron: He never even drives it! He just rubs it with a diaper.

Cameron: Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself. Ferris: Anyone with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile.

[After hearing Jeannie describe her problems...] Boy in Police Station: There's someone you should talk to. Jeannie: If you say Ferris Bueller, you lose a testicle. Boy in Police Station: Oh, you know him?