Burke: I just want to make a deal. Can we make a deal? Ronna Martin: Who the hell are you? Monty Hall?
Zack: Let's think about this logically. She's either alive, or she's dead.
Marcus: If you were any more white, you would be clear.
Ronna Martin: I could leave something with you. Collateral. Todd Gaines: I already got a fuckin' Swatch.
[Adam and Zack are in the rain trying to make space in their trunk to put a body in it.] Zack: Wait! Stop! Hold it! Adam: What?! What?! Zack: It's a Miata!!!
Simon Baines: They can't evict you on Christmas! Then you'd be ho-ho-homeless!
Marcus: Are you happy now? Is your British ass happy?!
Claire: Gay men are so hot. It's tragic.
Ronna: I need a favor. Todd: Wow, I didn't know we'd become such good friends, because if we had, you'd know that I give head before I give favors and I don't even give my best friends head so your chances of getting a favor are pretty slim.
Singh: Just so we're clear, you stole a car, shot a bouncer, and had sex with two women?
Todd: Ronna, I just gave you a favor. Ronna: And here I just thought you gave me head.
Todd: You come to me out of the blue, asking to buy 20 hits. Just so happens that 20 being the magic number at which intent to sell becomes trafficking! Ronna: Todd, I would never fuck you like that. Todd: How would you fuck me?
Tiny: Yo, I told you, my mother's mother's mother was black! Marcus: Man, if you were any less black you'd be clear.
Zack: It really didn't go as bad as it could have. Adam: A girl is dead, Zack. Zack: I didn't say it went perfectly.
[Referring to the Family Circus comic strip] Todd: And it's always there, in the lower right hand corner, just waiting to suck.
Victor Sr.: You know what wakes me up in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat? Knowing that you aren't any worse than anyone else in your whole screwed up generation. In the old days, you know how you got to the top? Huh? By being better than the guy ahead of you. How do you people get to the top? By being so fucking incompetent, that the guy ahead of you can't do his job, so he falls on his ass and congratulations, you are now on top. And now the top is down here, it used to be up here... and you don't even know the fucking difference.
[Selling allergy medicine as drugs] Ronna Martin: You know what makes it even better? If you take like a lot of pot with it. I mean like, like a lot of pot.
Simon Baines: He's a good guy. Marcus: Oh, he's the good drug dealer.