Allen: Pussy... need pussy.
Helen Jordan: I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. Joy Jordan: But I'm not laughing.
Diane: I want kids that love me as much as I hated my mother.
Helen: It's just I'm... I'm so tired of being admired all the time. All these men I mean... they're all beautiful, artistic minds, great sex, the whole package, but hollow, you know what I mean? I feel nobody's really honest with me. Nobody wants me for me.
Helen: Y'know, people are always putting New Jersey down. None of my friends can believe I live here. But that's because they don't get it: I'm living in a state of irony.
Trish: How come no matter how much you treat me like shit, I can't help loving you even more?
Joe: What do you think would happen if I got him a professional... you know... Bill: A professional? Joe: Hooker. You know, the kind that can teach things... first-timers, you know... break him in. Bill: But Joe, he's 11. Joe: You're right, you're right. It's too late.