Rob Gordon: Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch
her breast that I would try to touch her between her legs.
It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down,
and asking for 50 grand instead.
Barry: Holy shite. What the fuck is that? Dick: It's the
new Belle and Sebastian-- Rob Gordon: It's a record we've
been listenting to and enjoying, Barry. Barry: Well, that's
unfortunate, because it sucks ass!
Barry: Is it better to burn out or fade away?
Rob Gordon: How does an average guy like me become the number
one lover man in his particular postal district?
Rob Gordon: Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is
like supporting both the Israelies and the Palestinians.
Laura: No, it's really not, Rob. You know why? Because Marvin
Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records. Rob Gordon: Made!
Made! Marvin Gaye was shot by his father!
Rob Gordon: Should I bolt every time I get that feeling
in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening
to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking,
I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.
Laura: I'm too tired not to be with you. Rob Gordon: What,
so if you had a bit more energy we'd stay split up, but
things being as they are, with you being wiped out and all,
you want to get back together? Is that it? Laura: Yeah.
Laura: Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? Because
I want to feel something else than this. It either that,
or I go home and put my hand in the fire. Unless you want
to stub cigarettes out on my arm. Rob Gordon: No. I only
have a few left, I've been saving them for later. Laura:
Right. It'll have to be sex, then. Rob Gordon: Right. Right.
Barry: That's the worst sweater I've ever seen. That's a
Cosby sweater.
Rob Gordon: I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three
days a week and they just started showing up every day.
That was four years ago.
Rob Gordon: What came first, the music or the misery? People
worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent
videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take
them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands,
literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection,
pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because
I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to
pop music?
Rob Gordon: It would be nice to think that since I was 14,
times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated.
Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Instincts more developed.
But there seems to be an element of that afternoon in everything
that's happened to me since. All my romantic stories are
a scrambled version of that first one.
Rob Gordon: I can see now I never really committed to Laura.
I always had one foot out the door, and that prevented me
from doing a lot of things, like thinking about my future
and... I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing,
keep my options open. And that's suicide. By tiny, tiny
increments
