Colonel Sam Daniels: Anything I can do to help? Major Salt: Just don't make me nervous.
General McClintock: With all due respect, Colonel, if you don't follow us to Travis Air Force base, we'll blow you out of the sky. Daniels: With all due respect, General, fuck you, sir.
[George isn't cooperating with Daniels] Colonel Sam Daniels: George, you've heard abouth this virus?... Shall I cough on you, George?
Colonel Sam Daniels: We are fugitives of the law. Idiocy is our only option.
Casey Schuler: I hate this bug. Colonel Sam Daniels: Oh, come on, Casey. You have to admire its simplicity. It's one billionth our size and it's beating us. Casey Schuler: So, what do you want to do, take it to dinner? Colonel Sam Daniels: No. Casey Schuler: What, then? Colonel Sam Daniels: Kill it.
Casey Schuler: How many brain cells did I kill? Sam Daniels: How many? About a billion. Casey Schuler: Oh, now I'm only as smart as you. Sam Daniels: What can we give him to kill his sense of humor?
Mrs. Pananides: I have a friend in the Coast Guard, all I have to do is call... Daniels: How close a friend? Mrs. Pananides: Closer than his wife would like.
Sam Daniels: If you think I'm lying, drop the bomb. If you think I'm crazy, drop the bomb. But don't drop the bomb just because you're following orders!
Colonel Sam Daniels: Sir, what did I ever do to make your life miserable? General Billy Ford: You got up this morning, didn't you?
Col. Sam Daniels: Just don't get negative on me. Major Salt: Affirmative.
Sergent Meyer: Sir, my pilot is taking a leak. Col. Sam Daniels: A leak? No shit!
Colonel Sam Daniels: You know Salt, fear gets a bad rap. I don't want anybody in my outfit that doesn't get scared. Major Salt: Then I'm your man sir.