Old Lady at Opera: How was it dear? Vivian: It was so good
I almost peed my pants.
Edward Lewis: So what happens after he climbs up and rescues
her? Vivian Ward: She rescues him right back.
[Kit is trying to cheer up Vivian.] Vivian: Tell me one
person who it's worked out for. Kit: What, you want like
a name? A name, a name, the pressure of a name... I got
it. Cindafuckin'rella
[At the beginning of the evening.] Vivian: In case I forget
to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.
[After negotiating three thousand dollars.] Vivian: I would
have stayed for two thousand. Edward: I would have paid
four.
Edward Lewis: You and I are such similar creatures Vivian.
We both screw people for money.
Vivian: I got red, I got yellow, I got green, I got blue,
I'm out of purple, but I do have one Gold Circle coin left.
The condom of champions. Nothin' is getting through this
sucker.
[Kit is streetwalking.] Kit: Hey yo, baby! Guy in car: How
'bout a freebie? It's my birthday. Kit: Dream on!
Kit: You should go for him. You look hot tonight. Don't
take less than $100. Call me when you're through. Take care
of you. Vivian: Take care of you.
[Vivian calls Kit.] Vivian: I called and called last night.
Where were you?! Kit: Mom?
Vivian: That would make you a... lawyer. Edward: What makes
you think I'm a lawyer? Vivian: You have that sharp, useless
look about you.
Edward: I think we both know she's not my niece. Barney:
Of course.
Vivian: I appreciate this whole seduction thing you've got
going on here, but let me give you a tip: I'm a sure thing.
Lady at polo match: Edward is quite a catch. Vivian: Oh,
I'm not trying to land him, I'm just using him for sex.
Kit: I don't know. Maybe you could, like, buy a horse and
some diamonds.
Edward: How much for the entire night? Vivian: Stay here?
You couldn't afford it. Edward: Try me. Vivian: 300 dollars.
Edward: Done! Thank you. Now we can relax.
Kit: Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy-five, the wife can
watch.
Vivian: You know, you could pay me now, and break the ice.
Vivian: Can I call you Eddie? Edward: Not if you expect
me to answer.
Edward: I told you not to pick up the phone. Vivian: Then
stop calling me.
Store manager: Just how obscene an amount of cash are we
talking about here? Profane or really offensive? Edward:
Really offensive. Store manager: I like him so much.
Vivian Ward: People put you down enough, you start to believe
it. Edward Lewis: I think you are a very bright, very special
woman. Vivian Ward: The bad stuff is easier to believe.
You ever notice that?
