Rudy Baylor: What's the difference between a lawyer and
a hooker? A hooker'll stop screwing you when you're dead.
Rudy Baylor: How do you know when a lawyer is lying? His
lips are moving.
Deck Shiffler: You remember what a Rainmaker is, kid? The
bucks are going to start falling from the sky.
Rudy Baylor: Objection. Your honor, he's leading the witness.
Judge Kipler: This is cross examination, leading is allowed.
Overruled, as to leading.
Rudy Baylor: Sworn in by a fool and vouched for by a scoundrel.
I'm a lawyer at last.
Miss Birdie: This is that good process turkey.
Rudy Baylor: I knew exactly what was going on here. Just
like when Daddy was in the bedroom crying and Mommy was
sitting in the kitchen, face all bloody, saying that Daddy
Rudy Baylor: My dad hated lawyers. You might think I became
one just to piss him off, but you'd be wrong. Did piss him
off so much though that when he heard he fell off a ladder
and didn't know who to sue first.