Susanna: You use me, you use Raymond, you use everybody.
Charlie Babbitt: Using Raymond? Hey Raymond, am I using
you? Am I using you Raymond? Raymond Babbitt: Yeah. Charlie
Babbitt: Shut up! He is answering a question from a half
[in a pancake restaurant] Charlie Babbitt: Okay, Ray, we've
got blueberry, buckwheat, all flavors, what kind do you
want? Raymond Babbitt: Pancakes. Charlie Babbitt: I know,
but what kind? Raymond Babbitt: Pancakes.
Charlie Babbitt: Listen, Ray, our dad died, that means he's
not with us anymore. Did they tell you about that? Raymond
Babbitt: I don't know. Charlie Babbitt: You don't know if
they told you or you don't know what death is? Raymond Babbitt:
I don't know.
Charlie Babbitt: Raymond, am I using you? Raymond Babbitt:
Yeah. Charlie Babbitt: He is answering a question from a
half hour ago!
Raymond Babbitt: I'm an excellent driver.
[Location: telephone booth with door closed.] Raymond Babbitt:
Uh-oh fart. Uh-oh fart. Charlie Babbitt: What? Raymond,
did you just fart? Did you just fucking fart?! Raymond Babbitt:
Uh-oh fart. Charlie Babbitt: [trying unsuccessfully to open
door] Raymond, how can you stand that?! Raymond Babbitt:
I don't mind it, really.
Charlie Babbit: I'm gonna let ya' in on a little secret,
Ray. K-Mart sucks.
Dr. Bruner: Do you feel more relaxed in your favorite K-mart
clothes? Charlie Babbitt: Tell him, Ray. Raymond Babbitt:
K-mart sucks. Dr. Bruner: I see.
Charlie Babbitt: What you have to understand is, four days
ago he was only my brother in name. And this morning we
Raymond Babbitt: Of course you can't have pancakes without
maple syrup. Charlie Babbitt: You bet your butt. Raymond
Babbitt: Bet your butt.
Charlie Babbitt: I'm gonna go take a celebration piss.
Charlie Babbitt: This is a good one. We don't go out when
it rains. This is a real good one, Ray, I hope you appreciate
this because my business is going down the fucking toilet,
I should be in L.A., instead I'm in the Honeymoon Haven
Hotel in Bumblefuck, Missouri, because you won't go out
when it rains!
Raymond Babbitt: 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll.
97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future
of rock 'n' roll. Charlie Babbitt: Ray, enough already!
Change the channel. Raymond Babbitt: 97X, bam! The future
of rock 'n' roll. 97X, bam! The future of rock 'n' roll.
Charlie Babbitt: Get the hell in this car! Raymond Babbitt:
Yeah, get in the car. 'Course I have to be in bed by eleven.
Lights out at eleven. Have to watch TV. Now it's almost
19 minutes to eleven, lights out.
[Raymond doesn't want to go outside when it rains.] Charlie
Babbitt: Hey, Ray, you take a shower right? Raymond Babbitt:
Yeah. Charlie Babbitt: Well the rain is a lot like the shower,
you get a little wet. What do you say, Ray? What do you
say? Raymond Babbitt: Of course the shower is in the bathroom.
Charlie Babbitt: That's the end of that conversation.
Raymond Babbitt: That's my book. Charlie Babbitt: Taking
your book is not "serious injury." Raymond Babbitt: For
serious injury look in the red book. That book is blue.
Charlie Babbitt: Forgive me, I lost my secret decoder ring.
[To keep his eye on Raymond, Charlie has him in a phone
booth with him while he makes a call.] Raymond Babbitt:
Uh oh fart. Uh oh fart. Charlie Babbitt: Did you fart, Ray?
Did you fucking fart? Raymond Babbitt: Fart. Charlie Babbitt:
[Trying unsuccessfully to open the door.] How can you stand
that? Raymond Babbitt: I don't mind it. Charlie Babbitt:
How can you stand it? Raymond Babbitt: Ten minutes to Wapner.
We're definitely locked in this box with no TV.
Raymond Babbitt: We have pepperoni pizza for dinner Monday
nights. Susanna: Pizza? You get pizza in an institution?
Raymond Babbitt: Monday night is Italian night.
[Raymond blows their ruse to get into a farmhouse to watch
The People's Court.] Charlie Babbitt: That's it. You blew
it. You don't get to see your program. Finished. Raymond
Babbitt: One minute to Wapner. Charlie Babbitt: Yes, one
minute to Wapner. I had you in there, Ray! You were in there!
The defendant, the plaintiff, you had it all. They are in
there making legal history. *Legal history!*
Charlie Babbitt: Ray, all airlines have crashed at one time
or another, that doesn't mean that they are not safe. Raymond
Babbitt: Qantas. Qantas never crashed. Charlie Babbitt:
Qantas? Raymond Babbitt: Never crashed. Charlie Babbitt:
Oh, that's gonna do me a lot of good because Qantas doesn't
fly to Los Angeles out of Cincinnatti, you have to get to
Melbourne, Melbourne Australia, in order to get the plane
that flies to Los Angeles! Raymond Babbitt: Yeah, Melbourne
is the capital.
Charlie Babbitt: That man right there is my brother and
if he doesn't get to watch "People's Court" in about 30
seconds, he's gonna throw a fit right here on your porch.
Now you can help me or you can stand there and watch it
Raymond Babbitt: C-H-A-R-L-I-E, my main man.
[After Raymond surprises Charlie and Susanna during sex.]
Charlie Babbitt: Raymond, what were you doing in my room?
Huh? Raymond Babbitt: I don't know. Charlie Babbitt: You
don't know what you were doing in my room? Raymond Babbitt:
'Course there were noises. Charlie Babbitt: There were noises,
well those noises are none of your business.
Doctor: Ray, do you want to stay and live with Charlie?
Raymond Babbitt: Yeah. Doctor: Or do you want to go back
to Walbrook? Raymond Babbitt: Yeah. Doctor: Which is it?
Go back to Walbrook or stay with Charlie Babbitt? Raymond
Babbitt: Go back to Walbrook, stay with Charlie Babbitt.
Doctor: Ray, do you know how much a candy bar costs? Raymond
Babbitt: 'Bout a hundred dollars. Doctor: Do you know how
much one of those new compact cars costs? Raymond Babbitt:
'Bout a hundred dollars.