Scary Movie (2000)

Cindy Campbell: Ray, if you see Bobby, will you tell him that I love him? Ray: Okay, if I see Bobby, I'll tell him I love him.

Black TV Reporter: Reporting live from Black TV, white folks are dead and we're getting the fuck out of here.

Heather: The First Amendment gives us the right to say what we want. Teacher: Oh, shut the fuck up.



Buffy Gilmore: Don't worry, Cindy! We'll pretend this never happened, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other!

Ray: Watching television shows doesn't make you violent! *Canceling* television shows makes you violent!

Greg: A small penis is a disability! Would you laugh at someone in a wheelchair!

Ray: What you talking about, I ain't gay! Bobby: But you took me to that club... Ray: They have great music there! Bobby: But you made love to me! Ray: Nah, you sucked my dick and that's it!

Doofy: Mom said that when I wear this badge you're supposed to treat me like a man of the law. Buffy: Yeah, and Mom also told you not to stick your dick in the vacuum cleaner!

[The killer attacks Heather, while Gail watches, recording] Heather: Gail, help me! Gail Hailstorm: Sorry sweetie, it's sweeps!

Cindy Campbell: Look, if it's about that time I got drunk and masturbated with a crucifix, it was my first keg party, alright?

Buffy Gilmore: Oh, look at me! I'm all dead!

Buffy Gilmore: Oh, is this the climax? Well, I hope you don't mind if I fake it!

Miss Mann: Come in, dear. Have a seat. Take off your bra if you like.

Buffy Gilmore: Oh my god, we hit a boot!! Greg: Where's the foot?!

Cindy Campbell: We have to call the police! Ray: Forget it, I ain't going to jail! Greg: He's right! Cindy, do you know what they do to teens in jail? All of those sex-starved convicts waiting for a fresh piece of meat? Ray: On second thought, maybe we should call the police.

Homeless Man: You got a dollar? Buffy Gilmore: Get away from me, you bum. Cindy Campbell: Buffy, can't you see he's hungry? Here you go, sir, a nice sandwich. Homeless Man: I said a dollar, bitch.

[Brenda arguing with Shorty.] Shorty: Your mother! Brenda: I'm your sister, that's your mother too, stupid! Shorty: Oh yeah... well then, your father! Brenda: I don't know him. Shorty: Yeah, me neither.

Gail Hailstorm: You're drooling at little. Deputy Doofy: Sorry, sometimes I forget to swallow. Gail Hailstorm: I never forget to swallow.

Brenda: Shorty, if you go to class once in a while you would learn. Shorty: I do go to class. Brenda: Shorty, lunch is not a class. Shorty: It is if you got the munchies!