Shrek: That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.
The Donkey: Hey, you're a GIRL dragon!
[Gingerbread Man is being interrogated.] Gingerbread Man: Eat me!
[Shrek runs off to find the Donkey.] Shrek: I've got to save my ass!
Princess Fiona: What kind of knight are you? Shrek: One of a kind.
Shrek: Oh, no. Dead broad OFF the table!
[about Snow White] Magic Mirror: She lives with seven men, but she's not easy.
Donkey: Hi, princess! Princess Fiona: It talks. Shrek: Yeah, but it's getting him to shut up that's the hard part.
Shrek: I am beginning to see why you don't have any friends. Donkey: That's what I like about you, Shrek. A true friend wouldn't be so brutally honest.
Donkey: I've got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it!
Princess Fiona: Where are you going? Shrek: I have to save my ass.
Shrek: What you are doing is the opposite of help!
The Donkey: Hi, Princess. Princess Fiona: It talks! Shrek: Yeah, it's getting it to shut up that's the trick!
The Donkey: Did you hear that? She called me a "noble steed." She thinks I'm a steed.
The Donkey: Oh no! I can't feel my toes. [Looks down and yelps.] I don't have any toes! [Sits down.] I need a hug.
Shrek: Thank you, I'm here 'til Thursday. Try the veal, very nice.
The Donkey: I'm a donkey on the edge!
The Donkey: Hey, what about Shrek? He's ugly 24/7!
Lord Farquaad: Some of you are going to die, but its a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Donkey: I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.
Donkey: Ooh, this is gonna be so much fun! We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories, and in the mornin', I'm makin' waffles.
Donkey: I ain't never met someone who didn't like parfait. You never hear someone say, "Hey, you want some parfait?" "Hell no, I don't want no parfait!"
[Shrek repeatedly thanks the Donkey.] The Donkey: Stop it, nobody likes a kiss-ass.
Magic Mirror: Let's move on to girl number 3, Princess Fiona. She likes piņa coladas and getting caught in the rain!
Shrek: Ogres are like onions. Donkey: They both smell? Shrek: NO! They have LAYERS. There's more to us underneath. So, ogres are like onions. Donkey: Yeah, but nobody LIKES onions!
Donkey: Hey, you don't know what its like to be treated like a freak! ...Well, maybe, you do.
Shrek: Ogres are like onions. Donkey: What, 'cause they stink? Shrek: No... Donkey: 'Cause they make people cry? Shrek: No...! Donkey: You mean if you leave them out they get brown and start growing little white hairs?
Donkey: This would be SO much easier if I weren't color-blind.