Brick Top: If I throw a dog a bone, I don't wanna know if it tastes good or not.
Uncle Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth? Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut? Turkish: You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut, Tommy, you!
Customs official: Do you have anything to declare, sir? Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.
Uncle Avi: What should I call you? Bullet? Tony? Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.
Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.
Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this instance by an 'orrible cunt... me!
Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that? Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish. Turkish: No, Tommy. There'a a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers? Tommy: It's for protection. Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?
Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again.
Turkish: [making tea] Would you like sugar? Brick Top: No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.
Turkish: Did you understand one word of what he just said?
Avi: I'm gettin' heartburn. Tony, do something terrible.
Mickey: I bet ya can box a little, can't ya sir? Aye, you look like a boxer.
Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger? Cousin Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger? Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.
Avi: Fish, chips, cup o' tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins London!
Turkish: You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, pig-feeding gangster!
Vinny: Why are we stopped here? Whats wrong with that spot? Tyrone: It's too tight. Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that!
Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from?
Bullet Tooth Tony: There are two kinds of balls in this world. There are the big brave balls and then there are the little mincey faggot balls.