Walter Kornbluth: I'm really a nice guy. If I had friends you could ask them!
Allen Bauer: It just so happens I come from a very long line of married people.
[Excitedly waving a Penthouse magazine.] Freddie Bauer: They published my letter! Here it is, "A lesbian no more"! They published my letter!
Freddie Bauer: What you looking at? You never seen a guy who slept with a fish before?
Allen Bauer: I don't understand. All my life I've been waiting for someone and when I find her, she's... she's a fish.
Freddie Bauer: People fall in love every day, huh? Is that what you said? Allen Bauer: Yeah. Freddie Bauer: Yeah? Well, that's a crock. It doesn't work that way. Look, do you realize how happy you were with her? That is, of course, when you weren't driving yourself crazy. Every day? Come on. Some people will never BE that happy. I'LL never be that happy. What am I talking to you for? You don't know anything.