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UHF (1989)

Stanley Spadowski: "These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more!"

[As in _The Treasure of the Sierra Madre_ (qv)] Raul Hernandez: Badgers? Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!

R.J. Fletcher: This is an embarrassment. A disgrace. What do you think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today? Richard Fletcher: "Help me out of this box, I can't breathe in here! Help, let me out!"

Stanley Spadowski: George? What's the matter? George Newman: Stanley, you don't want to know. Stanley Spadowski: Huh? Why did I ask?

George Newman: I need a drink. Bob: You don't drink. George Newman: Yeah, but I've been meaning to start.

[Watching a cartoon.] Stanley Spadowski: Watch out, Mr. Coyote! ...Aww.

Crazy Ernie: If nobody comes down here and buys a car in the next hour, I'm gonna club this baby seal. That's right. I'm gonna club this seal to make a better deal. You know I'll do it, to, cause I'm crazy.

George Newman: Lesbian Nazi Hookers Abducted by UFOs and Forced Into Weight Loss Programs---all next week on Town Talk!

Stanley Spadowski: I'm thinkin' of something orange. Something orange. Give up? It's an orange! [laughs] Ok, now I'm thinkin' of something blue. Something bluuuuuue.

[After losing his thumb in a table saw] Joe Earley: Can you believe this? Would you look at that? Just call me "Mr. Butterfingers." I think it's on the floor somewhere. Is my face red!

Bob: I don't know about this, George. We don't know the first thing about what goes on in a television station. George Newman: Don't worry, Bob. It's just like working in a fish-market. Except you don't have to clean and gut fish all day.

[In the "Spatula City" advertising commercial] Sy Greenblum: Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the spatulas so much, I bought the company.

Raul Hernandez: Today we're teaching poodles how to fly!

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